Reply to Self preservation Strategies when husband sucks but your staying together for thr kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s so unfair to your kids to do this. Kids deserve to grow up in a loving environment, not a home seething with animosity and resentment. Please rethink this.[/quote]

I thought that, too, and I am divorced. Things are better in some ways but really, it is much more difficult in every other way. Logistics with coparenting with someone you don't want to be married to is worse than staying married. Had I known how difficult it would be logistics wise and it was not a fresh start at all and just more complicated, I would have stayed until the kids go to college. If I had sole or primary custody, I would not feel this way, but 50/50 custody and divorce is far more difficult than staying in a miserable marriage. I am still miserable but it is a lot harder than it was. Kids in one house is far easier even if the houses are miles apart like mine.[/quote]

What is happening that is making things such a logistical nightmare?  I have 50/50 and it’s definitely better than being miserable in one house.[/quote]

The stuff in two places is awful. The constant back and forth. The constant communication about the kids. The kids have activities EVERY DAY. We are not stopping that. This means there are things forgotten and often on "off nights" we end up having to do something with one kid because a parent can't be in two places at the same time. I hated him then and I hate him now. Before at least I could ignore him in the house and all of their stuff was in one place. He won't buy what they need so I end up buying things for two houses. I feel like I am running two households rather than one. I can't make him do things he won't do. He is 50 and not changing. It is worse than before. Before we would go days without speaking. Now I have to hear from him every day. [/quote]

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