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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not sure if this has been covered, but OP you can try viewing this as the ultimate high compliment to your mom that your dad wants to date again.
For men who felt loved and cherished and enjoyed the companionship of their wives, it is very hard for them to picture continuing on without this feeling for the rest of their lives. It’s because he loved your mom so much and their life together was so fulfilling that he wants to feel close to someone in that way again.
Whoever he dates or ends up with will not take your mom’s place and he knows that. But your mom loved this man before you came into the picture and she would likely want him to find some semblance of happiness and not be lonely for the rest of his life.[/quote]

All fine, except for the money part. Original Mom needs to make sure her assets go directly to her descendants, not to a new wife and their descendents.[/quote]

how does that happen?

fwiw, my MiL BFF was in a second marriage for nearly 40 years. Both she and her second husband had lost their first spouses to cancer. when BFF's second husband died, he left nearly everything to his kids. And I am saying nearly everything. She received a small sum of money and a condo that she could live in until she died but couldn't afford to maintain so had to abandon and the kids took over the asset. it was devastating. and this was a traditional set up - she cooked and cleaned for him (and his kids along with hers) for part of those forty years. and she nursed him all through his last years when he was largely incapacitated.

seems as if it would have been better to leave her more money so she basically didn't end up homeless.[/quote]

Because stepMOTHERS are the most hated humans on the planet. Facts don't matter. Longevity doesn't matter. All that matters is another woman has dared to get involved with a man who previously had children with another woman.

There should be a big, red tattoo written on the foreheads of all divorced men with children: WARNING TO WOMEN: I AM A FATHER. MY KIDS WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU. [/quote]

yeah, i guess that, though they both lost their spouses and that's how they remarried.

i find it sad b/c one of his children was gay and the stepmom was far more accepting for a much longer time of the child and their partner then the parent was.

and how did the husband live with himself? he had to know he wasn't leaving her enough money to live on.[/quote]

Because he was probably coached by others that leaving everything to his adult children was the only honorable thing to do. Stepmothers need to fend for themselves even after decades of a loving, caring relationship. None of that trumps the wants and desires of biological children, including those who are adults. [/quote]

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