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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m at a loss with my mother. She’s in her mid-70s. I was out at the grocery store with her and we were in line when she caught the eye of one of two little boys in line behind her. The first boy carried on a short conversation with her, and then she moved on to converse with the other boy, only this caused him to have a mini-meltdown, stomping, pulling his hair and loudly screaming NO! NO! NO! at my mother. The mother of the boy simply tried to calm the boy down and ignored my mother.

In the car my mother couldn’t believe how the boy had “treated her”, and chastised the mother for not correcting him or apologizing for him. “She just let him act that way and speak to me like that!” I attempted to explain that he was likely autistic, or otherwise differently-abled, but she wasn’t having it.

Why are they so clueless about these disabilities yet claim to know everything about literally anything else? [/quote]

I wonder how/why you're so clueless.   How much experience has your mom had with anyone with a disability?  Do you know that disabled people used to be institutionalized or otherwise hidden away?  I'm 53, when my disability was diagnosed my mom was told to put me in a home.  While growing up, my mom knew a family who put their disabled son in a closet when anyone came over.  Kids who misbehaved at school or home were physically disciplined... no matter the reason.

Your mom doesn't "get it" because it's out of her realm of experience.   Some 20/30/40 year oldest better hope nothing changes as they get older.  [/quote]

+1
This.
Was watching an episode of Boston Legal the other night (it's streaming on Prime). That show was filmed in the early 2000s and there was a main character on it with (obvious to me) asperger's. And one of the episodes "revealed" his diagnosis. The adult character had never heard of it before and the plot line was obviously being used as a vehicle to educate viewers. I was surprised when they mentioned that it wasn't even an acknowledged diagnosis until 1995. That seems so long ago to someone like you, OP, but to your mom, that wasn't that long ago at all. And certainly it was LONG after her kids were grown. 
You should ask your mom a little more about the "way things were" back in the day to get a little more perspective about why "elderly people" just don't "get it." Society is much more open about discussing disabilities and adapting. 
I also agree that children who did not behave as expected were simply physically disciplined as a matter of course. I was born in the mid-70s and I had several classroom teachers in elementary school who had paddles displayed in their rooms as a warning for misbehavior. This was considered normal. There was not effort to understand the "why" about varied spectrums of behavior. There was a standard and parents/teachers/adults enforced that standard uniformly.
You can help show compassion to your mom and demonstrate compassion for that child at the same time. [/quote]

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