Reply to Should we medicate our teen daughter for anxiety

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m in a similar boat OP. Except ours doesn’t even want therapy. She’s 12. She is really struggling with a lot of the social dynamics of middle school. She’s such a sweet kid and it’s hard to watch her struggle. It’s also hard on my older DD as we try to manage the younger one’s issues. I think it is likely interfering with their ability to have a close relationship. Breaks my heart. I don’t know if we should force her to therapy - we are considering it.[/quote]

Would she consider books? There are some good books about anxiety and social dynamics for middle school kids that might be helpful and feel more accessible than therapy.

As a parent of a kiddo with social anxiety we're found therapy particularly difficult. Our child is already anxious about talking to people, so the odds that she's going to talk with even the most well-meaning, kind therapist about the things that make her the most anxious are approximately zero. At a weekly appointment pace it would likely take YEARS before she reached that comfort level, if she ever got there. (In fourth grade she finally talked to the school speech therapist about the social worries - and that was after seeing her weekly since [b]kindergarten[/b].) And it would be a battle to get her to go to the appointments every week. For now we have chosen to get coaching for us in supporting her, along with books and other resources that she can access without triggering her anxiety.[/quote]

hard to speak to people like Selective Mutism?  If so, please know there are a lot of terrible local providers claiming to treat SM.  Truly skilled SM practitioners (like at ChildMind and some other places) are much better at this.  (there are some ok local providers too)[/quote]

Yes, actually, she does have mild Selective Mutism. She was always able to do the minimum to get by at school, spoke when called on, etc., but wasn't able to, say, speak up when the teacher forgot her when handing out worksheets (and once got sent home from school sick when she was fine because she froze up and wouldn't talk to the nurse). She didn't speak to people like waiters, store clerks, etc. - just totally froze. And yes, we've found a lot of people who claim to treat selective mutism and aren't great at it. She's doing much better these days thanks to the speech therapist I mentioned above, who really read up on selective mutism and worked with her on it. She ordered for herself in a restaurant last night, and actually came home sick early from school today, which required navigating her teacher, the office staff, etc. - something she likely couldn't have handled before. Also, medication was a game changer.[/quote]

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