Reply to Anyone else just stop initiating or asking for sex from their partner?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Anyone else just stop initiating or asking for sex from their partner?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wish I could get to this point. Every time I say to myself, that’s it, never going to try again. But I eventually cave.

It’s so demoralizing and embarrassing and pathetic to try and initiate only to be told [b]I’m tired, have to go make lunch, have to go shopping in a minute, have to go to yoga, have to feed the f&cking dogs. [/b]

I’ve communicated. I’ve said that hey maybe once in a blue moon it would be great if you initiated. Honestly can think of maybe one or two times that’s ever happened in the past 10 years of marriage. But OK, that’s not your thing, can you at least pretend to be into it? Not openly treat it like I just asked you to fold a load of laundry. Nope, apparently that’s asking too much.

So, I end up just asking in some weird transactional kind of way. As romantic as doing your taxes. And 19x in 20 the answer is no. Feels really sh$tty. [/quote]

I’m all over my husband.  But then again, he does the shopping, feeds the kids, and feeds the dog.  This gives me time and energy to want him.[/quote]

Oh STFU. This is such a tired, repetitive response. Do the women saying it over and over again in response to literally any complaint about this issue think they’re making some staggering point?

I do all these things as well; we both do, it’s a marriage. I also do things she doesn’t, and vice versa. That’s not the point, and my wife being stretched too thin isn’t the issue… she’s a SAHM and has support from a full time housekeeper, two kids in school, if that helps you.

The point is: if I’ve got errands to run on a Saturday or whatever, and the rotation of the earth reversed itself such that DW initiated, I’d never be like “sorry no can do, need to be at Home Depot by 11:00.”

[/quote]

Honestly, I think most men let themselves go and expect women to put out. We get our hair, nails and make up done, smell good, go to the gym to lose weight, wear lingerie and you all think a hard penis is good enough. No… there is no reason you aren’t putting in an effort to be attractive. There is a reason she is not reaching for your penis and it’s not because she has to run errands…[/quote]

Maybe.

I haven’t. I take care of the kids all the time. I do chores. Honestly, stop reciting the same tired tropes about why women lose interest in sex. We all know the same 5 or so reasons.

I don’t fall into that category. I have all my hair, work out, am considered attractive and have had tons of girlfriends prior to marriage.

I agree it’s just demoralizing to be with a low libido spouse with a take it or leave it, apathetic attitude toward our sex life.  It’s really sad to me. To her it’s just me being too horny. I don’t agree. Why be in a marriage? Why have my libido locked ina cage? It’s unfair.[/quote]

I don’t really how this situation happens.  
You initiate sex every day or every other day or whatever, and she says that you’re too horny, and she somehow thinks this is fine?  I don’t see how this same conversation happens every day for weeks, let alone years, without something coming to a head.  [/quote]

It’s variations of the same theme:

I’m not in the mood
I’m tired
I’m hungry
You’re too horny
It turns me off when you nag
I have work
It’s too late
We just did it
You don’t seduce me

And on and on and on, the excuses are infinite and then you give up because you are “nagging.”  The dynamic is such that the more you ask the less they want it.  Your desperation is unattractive.  And for a woman it’s especially maddening because men everywhere are giddy to flirt or talk to you.
[/quote]

Back when I used to initiate more, my wife frequently had vague stomach issues that I needed to hear about early in the evening. Since I stopped initiating, her intestinal challenges have all but disappeared. It's a medical miracle! [/quote]

So anticipating you might be interested in sex later in the evening, her go to response was to preemptively lay the foundation for her planned rejection?

What a catch she must be.[/quote]

If mine knows we are going to be alone later or there will be an opportunity to have sex she will begin declaring how much a body part hurts, with all of her ailments you would think she spends her days in a coal mine instead of our couch. I even suggested she file a Workmen’s Compensation claim against Time Warner cable.

As soon as we are properly chaperoned she’ll be doing handstands with our kid on the living room floor, it’s amazing how the miracle of motherhood can carry a woman through such horrific musculoskeletal pain!  
 
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics