Reply to Desperate plea for help with my 4 year old DD

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Reply to "Desperate plea for help with my 4 year old DD"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, not all things work for all kids. She seems like she might be a bit controlling and have difficulty with transitions, she might do well with a lot of structure. For my kid, anxiety was the underlying issue.

I found the book "The Difficult Child" very helpful. I has you keep a log and it helped us identify the problem spots and plan for them.

One thing that I don't see in your post is really empathizing with your DD. Have you looked at "The Happiest Toddler on the Block"? It goes through age 4. For my kid, "not engaging" just made her need to try harder to draw us in so that she would feel understood. If we could empathize, and the book is great for this, and she felt heard, then she was much more chilled out. Eventually they start using words for their feelings rather than just acting them out but you have to model it and it takes years.

I'd also tell her that her room is off limits to the little one but that she has to be safe and not hurt her. Put up a gate or something. My kiddo needed her own place to decompress and couldn't share all her treasures and risk having them broken.

Were you the youngest by any chance?

Good luck![/quote]

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