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[quote=Anonymous]OP here, I wrote a long post and could not post it. I am trying again.

1. He walked back the $45k thing after we talked last night. He said he was frustrated over the guys trip thing.

2. We agreed he will go on the next trip, but will talk further about how often he will go after that until our budget is better. I should add that his friends put a lot of pressure on him when he doesn’t do these trip.  They can be jerks about it. Also the trip are usually camping, breweries, sports games. No hookers and blow.

3. We are going to talk to our financial advisor about our retirement and savings goals. I am hopeful a third party can help him see that our goals are reasonable and his are not. By that, I mean I want to pay for in state undergrad, have a home maintenance fund, be able to pay for two family vacations a year and save enough for retirement to have 60% of our income using the 4% rule. Again he thought a $1M lottery win was enough for him to retire tomorrow (we are younger parents so we have about 14 years left before retirement).

I also keep a detailed excel of incoming and outgoing expenses which I am going to sit down and go over with him. One of his other complaints is that we keep making more and don’t get ahead. Except we are only making more because I am making more. He is making less. And inflation/college costs are a impactful.

4. $4k is after taxes. I think I mentioned that already. He made about 38% of our income last year when bonuses were factored in.

5. As noted previously, my parents are generous with him because he has really helped them on a weekly basis for the last several years with caretaking responsibilities. I know he is coming off horrible on these posts but he is not a bad person.  [/quote]

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