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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think this could be cultural and OP is conditioned to make every sacrifice to keep the family intact for the sake of children and social respect. Till death do us apart.

If divorce indeed isn't something she wants then its fine. Everyone makes some sacrifices in life for different reasons, let her pick her poison.[/quote]

Divorce only takes 1 and he may well leave. Many cheaters do.

OP, get yourself prepared financially, you have to be able to take care of your kids. He may start a family with someone else and basically walk away. You need to not think being a doormat gives you any power or control whatsoever. [/quote]

+1000

I fear that OP's resignation and determination to "keep the family intact" means she's also put on blinders regarding the fact he could leave her any time -- and he will NOT share her qualms about breaking up the family, I think. If she is not realistically preparing for any possibility, financially and legally, she is truly sticking her head in the sand. OP, for your kids' sake if not your own, at least consider that if he leaves you, you'll be so blindsided and unprepared unless you get some ducks in a row. Fast. Privately.

I posted on another thread recently about this part, but: Friend's DH left her and their three young kids when he got his AP pregnant. Don't think it can't happen in your situation too, OP. Don't fantasize that he'd always choose you and your kids together over the AP --with or without a new AP baby.[/quote]

Somebody threw out a stat that only 10-15 percent of cheating husbands leave. I don't take the stat at face value, but 10% is still not something to brush off when the stakes are so high. OP definitely needs to be prepared.

Also OP whatever you do, don't tell your husband you know but send him the message that you won't divorce him. Even if you won't, it's never a good idea to send your partner the message that you will be okay with mistreatment. That will just lead to more mistreatment, even if the affair ends. What makes people be nice to us isn't kindness, it's boundaries. It's okay if you're not prepared to set them right now, but don't let him think he is off the hook.[/quote]

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