Reply to husband as "junior partner" in childrearing

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]These whine-fests are never ending. Have you never left your children at home for a weekend with your husband in charge? If not, why not? When you arrive home and all the kids are accounted for and no one had to go to the ER, it’s all good. His way might not be YOUR way, but isn’t that okay? To the super planners who posted…You need a “plan” to go out to dinner? What’s the problem with, “Kids, grab your coats, we are going out for dinner tonight.”[/quote]

It’s like: I arrive home after a night out and its 9pm and kid hasn’t eaten dinner and DH is expecting me to make it.

Or I arrive home and its 10pm and kid isn’t in bed (guess who gets to handle the fallout)

Or I arrive home and there are dishes everywhere that nobody else will do.

[/quote]

Just go to bed.[/quote]

So it's like a game of chicken as to who's willing to neglect the children the most?[/quote]

+1 wtf is wrong with this poster? if you didn't want kids, you shouldn't have had kids.[/quote]

-1 If you can't go out and come home at 9pm and go straight to bed and have your H handle parenting you are a terrible parent and a f'd up person.

If you want kids you need to let their father parent them, stop being such an insane control freak.[/quote]

Nope, it's not being an insane control freak unless this is the usual routine and your DH has a track record of handling it. Also if he is the one who will be dealing with the fall out the next day if the kids are overtired and cranky. It's just self interest to step in and make sure bed time happens if you know that you will pay the price for your DH's error here.

Look, if you want to mess with bedtimes, mealtimes, the usual schedule, then you need to be pulling your weight day in and day out. If a DH is truly a 50/50 partner and he's going to the one getting those kids out of bed and making sure they get to school on time, he's going to be taking kids to swim class and dealing with it if they are low energy, etc., then sure, he can make his choices about the schedule and routines and experiment and the DW in that scenario should be okay with it because he's down in the trenches with her.

But when a DH just occasional steps in to solo parent to "give mom a break" since she's the one who does most of it the rest of the time, his job is to follow her routines. Period. You want to be the boss? Then show up and do the work. If you only want to part-time parent, be ready to follow the brief because you have decided to abdicate the power you might have had to run shit when you decided to let your partner do 70-80% of the parenting.[/quote]

blah blah blah blah... you are exhausting.

You are a control freak with anxiety issues, you won't realize this until you have some major event, go to therapy and they say... you have control issues and we need to treat your anxiety and you'll probably fire the therapist instead of just admit you are wrong. [/quote]

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