Reply to BIL/kids visiting for Thanksgiving; grandparents don’t want to bow out to a hotel

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm glad OP has found a good solution with asking the cousin and fiancee to stay at the hotel.

I'm not an IL defender by any stretch; side-eye my own and others frequently. But in this case I can empathize with them. From their perspective, it's more like being cast out to make room for the younger folks, which could be a growing fear of theirs as they age. Even though OP's original proposal sounded reasonable to her from a logistical and utilitarian perspective, it would be perceived entirely differently by the ILs. Just my 2 cents lest OP or anyone else think the ILs are being difficult. [/quote]

I totally get what you are saying, but I think if ILs want to always stay in the “main” house, they need to make sure their early risings are not disruptive. I also think they could stand to gain some perspective that maybe adults who don’t like to go to bed early would want to enjoy some rare kid-free time with peer siblings and cousins they don’t often get to see. My parents not only get that my siblings and cousin and I like to hang out and play cards and spend quality time together as a peer group, they encourage it. My ILs—and some of my aunts and uncles—feel jealous and left out. So just as OP and others who see her point of view could use some perspective, so could ILs and those who think like them.[/quote]

This.

Op, If the grandparents do stay with you and not in the hotel, would they be a pain Re the night time hanging out?[/quote]

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