Reply to BIL/kids visiting for Thanksgiving; grandparents don’t want to bow out to a hotel

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "BIL/kids visiting for Thanksgiving; grandparents don’t want to bow out to a hotel"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Say your house is a three bedroom house. Each couple gets a room (in-laws, cousin/fiancee, you). Kids all sleep in sleeping bags in a common area, and throw your BIL a couch. It's easily done and doesn't have to be a ton of drama.[/quote]

This is what I'd do.[/quote]

OP does not like the IL, she asked them to bow out to accommodate a random cousin and fiancé. Talk about creating unnecessary strain in a relationship.[/quote]

OP has already said she was going to ask if she could pay for cousin and fiancee to stay in a hotel room. Or did you willfully miss that because you’re projecting your IL issues onto her?

Her reasons for thinking cousin and fiancée should stay in the house made sense—they go to bed early and get up early like ILs (early risers can be disruptive to a house with sleeping kids), and BIL very rarely gets to see the cousin, so game night and all that after kids are in bed sounds fun. At any rate, OP has already said she’s going to suggest a hotel for cousin and fiancee, so what is your problem?[/quote]

She [b]already[/b] told ILs to go to a hotel, giving little thought and consideration to how this would be received. Most people understand ILs would feel hurt and slighted in this scenario. That this didn't register with OP makes me think she does not like them or does not care to maintain a drama free relationship.[/quote]

Oooh, out of hosting them probably dozens of times, if not more, she asked them to stay in a hotel she would pay for ONE TIME, immediately following a Fourth of July visit where her family stayed in a hotel that they paid for to make room for BIL’s family, as BIL’s family is the one traveling the furthest and at the greatest expense. So let’s review, hotels are fine when OP pays for them, to avoid cramming ILs house, to make things nicer for all involved, but it doesn’t work the other way? Got it.[/quote]

OP chose to stay in hotel for 4th of July to "give BIL some space", aka she does not like the ILs. She finds all kinds of logistics reasons to slight them. [/quote]

DH is going along with both scenarios. The fact that they are welcoming seven relatives into their home to make them a Thanksgiving meal and a multi-day visit shows that you have no leg to stand on. The fact that they were [b]willing to visit[/b] for multiple days with them for Fourth of July proves the same. You tried it, though.[/quote]

It benefits their children and them (DH at least) to maintain a relationship with loving  Grandparents and cousins. To see this as some sort of favor or chore is terrible. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics