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[quote=Anonymous]Personally, we have a policy of needing to be old enough by the app's standards, so that's 13. My 13 year old got Instagram (private) this year. We have access to our kid's phones and they charge them downstairs overnight. My 13 year old knows she is allowed to get Snap but I will check her phone more often if so, and this isn't a trade off she likes. She says she'd just rather not have it. If my 11 year old downloaded it secretly, I would confront her and give consequences, but I think my real focus would be on how powerful the urge to scroll and snap and turn into a Zombie is, rather than making it all about respect and honesty.

A friend of my 11 year old texted my 13 year old and said that her parents gave her permission to get Snap Chat but they "couldn't figure out" how to approve it, so could she send my 13 year old the code. My 13 year old told me this whole story, totally guileless and believing the lie. Of course I informed the friend's mom. Kids will be kids.

I'm just really trying to navigate how to teach my kids good boundaries. They have app limits, the 11 year old can't download new apps without permission, they have to leave their phones downstairs overnight. Still, they are addictive despite all of that. We talk about that a lot, and I demonstrate awareness of my own susceptibility and the strategies I use to take back control of my brain. They know that sometimes we declare screen free time and we all read a book . . . they understand that the click-bait wants them to keep clicking/liking/scrolling but that they feel much better when they are disconnected. It's a battle, and always will be, for all of us. Good luck, OP. I don't think this is a one and done proposition . . . it's something we need to revisit and stay on top of constantly.[/quote]

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