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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As someone who grew up in a family of four-- I think people who say that adding additional kids after 3 is "easy" do not think of their kids as individuals (or at least not all of them), probably rely on a good bit of childcare from their eldest, and better pray none of their kids has special needs in any way. Not just something like ADHD, ASD, or a learning disorder,  but even subclinical issues like being slow to warm, mild sensory processing issues, etc.

Look, love is not a finite resource and kids need a lot less space and material goods than modern American consumerist culture currently dictates. But time and energy ARE finite, and the idea that adding a while other person to your family, a child who will be at peak "need," is no big deal is deranged.

I don't trust people who treat that cavalierly.[/quote]

This describes my sister exactly. She freely admits that she doesn't play with any of them and that the younger two are much easier when the older are home because she doesn't have to entertain them. She also doesn't work and puts them all in preschool/school the max she can the second they are eligible. She seems to just want the image of being a "4 kid mom." Like driving a Suburban and sitting in private school carline is her identity. That, and the perfect Christmas card. Its hard to explain. [/quote]

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