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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As someone who grew up in a family of four-- I think people who say that adding additional kids after 3 is "easy" do not think of their kids as individuals (or at least not all of them), probably rely on a good bit of childcare from their eldest, and better pray none of their kids has special needs in any way. Not just something like ADHD, ASD, or a learning disorder,  but even subclinical issues like being slow to warm, mild sensory processing issues, etc.

Look, love is not a finite resource and kids need a lot less space and material goods than modern American consumerist culture currently dictates. But time and energy ARE finite, and the idea that adding a while other person to your family, a child who will be at peak "need," is no big deal is deranged.

I don't trust people who treat that cavalierly.[/quote]

This may be the most sane post I've ever read on this website. I am one of six, and I firmly believe that no one needs more children than two. I don't care how much you want a big family. [b]There is no way to take care of a child's emotional well being when there is so much need.[/b] It's batshit crazy to me that in this time of climate crisis (and when most children make it to adulthood) anyone should be having large families. Just don't do it. [/quote]

Like others, I gently suggest you work through these feelings in therapy.  Your beliefs about your own childhood are absolutely valid, but you can't extrapolate that to every family with 4+ kids.  There's just too many variables (family support, money, where they live, family life, etc.).  You've never, in your life, met a well-adjusted, happy adult who happens to have 3+ siblings?!  [/quote]

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