Reply to H claims that I abuse him emotionally, whereas I think it is the other way around

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Reply to "H claims that I abuse him emotionally, whereas I think it is the other way around"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Another issue that I have is that him valuing only monetary contribution to a marriage instills the wrong values in our daughter. He completely ignores the fact that I take care of absolutely everything concerning childcare, household, finances, etc. For example I pick up our daughter at 3 pm every day.

I really don't think that I should stay at the office until 7 pm to the detriment of our child, if we don't need it financially, just to prove a point. He is very mad about this attitude and ignores my work as a mother. Of course, he is not even present during the week.

My daughter is too young, but at some point I will explain to her that there is a lot of value in all the other work that a parent does.

The irony is that  H had a stay-at-home mom and a live-in grandma. I, on the other hand, do everything that his mom and grandma did, on top of that what his father would do around the house and with the finances/paperwork, plus I work as a lawyer in my own firm (I have three employees).

We are surrounded by families with stay-at-home moms who are treated with respect and love by their husbands.

I personally do not know any other woman who earns $200k, except for big law partners. And it is still not enough. Sometimes I don't even know what to tell him, I just feel like crying. [/quote]

OP, you are an amazing and competent woman. My advice would be to stop brainstorming things to say to him or coaching your daughter on how to talk to him. Stop trying to fix him. I would consult with a lawyer about how you can potentially separate from him and maximize your time with your daughter and have his time with her and you be minimized. This sounds like a truly atrocious living situation and I’m sorry. I know you said not to just say divorce him, as you think arguments will remain the same but at least you would have some distance between you— I think at least consulting with a lawyer could be of use to see how much of your fears about divorce are a reality and what there may actually be a solution to.[/quote]

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