Reply to Post affair, husband tired of me bringing it up

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Post affair, husband tired of me bringing it up "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it's normal to think about it frequently and have questions. Since you're already in therapy, I'd ask the expert how to deal with the constant rumination and intrusive thoughts. Your H should also understand that this is to be expected. [/quote]

I agree with this, but please do bear in mind that betrayed spouses perseverate about the AP LONG after the cheater has forgotten not only the feelings but the specifics of what was said and done.  Depending on the cheater’s age, they really will forget at a certain point and it is not gaslighting. Think about how much you truly remember about past relationships- and you were in those wholeheartedly. “I love you” exchanges via text in the dark, hot fantasy world of an affair carry little weight in the brightness of day.  I am not saying he gets a free pass, but ask yourself what you ultimately want out of your marriage? No one likes to be continually reminded of their mistakes and be asked to be an apologist indefinitely. If you see progress and he is contrite, don’t punish yourself for his sins and ruin your marriage. Think more of your future happiness than your former misery.[/quote]

Especially the men.  Literally don’t even remember her last name or much else.  My wife on the other hand could probably still tell you everything.  I let her talk and answered all questions for a very long time.  But it’s been several years and I literally couldn’t tell you much of anything.  Honestly don’t remember.  It ran its course it was over and it’s not someone I ever want anything to do with, nor do I have any desire to cheat again.  Individual therapy helped me deal with shame, address my issues and helped me with how to help my wife heal.  But, it was talked about for a long time.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics