Reply to Is it okay to take a break from a friend without telling them?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why not tell the person.  Just say you have a lot going on and will not be returning her calls or texts for a couple of weeks.  Ask her to please give you space.    Ignoring her seems to just increase the texts and calls and will drive you nuts.  [/quote]

I asked her to give me space and that I needed to take a break from social media while I worked on some things. This was met with a stream of texts “what did I do? Why are you treating me like this?”, “when can I expect to hear back from you?” “Can I check in with you every evening?” Then escalating after 1 day to “you’re being selfish!”[/quote]

If a friend did this to me they would no longer be my friend. She called you selfish for being busy? She’s definitely a “vampire” and way too needy. My response would be “bye”.[/quote]

Yeah I would say this sounds less like an actual friendship and more like you're the touchstone for someone who is having some mental illness issues. This means the regular rules of friendship don't apply - and only you can say if you're prepared to keep being there for someone who won't, and probably can't, accept the normal ebbs and flows of contact with another adult person.

I've been in this position before, too. It's very hard to know what to do. I had one friend, who was having a psychotic episode, who would send me hundreds of texts overnight while I was sleeping - and post all kinds of inappropriate things on my social media. She ended up contacting my husband, my sibling, some other people, with strange messages, too. I felt so overwhelmed by this - and also like there was no realistic way that I could actually help. I ended up blocking her. It made my life easier, and I also don't feel fantastic about the decision to do it. I just didn't think I was capable of dealing with this.

I don't know what you should do. I don't think the regular ways of establishing boundaries are really going to help, though.[/quote]

Agree.  Anyone that is intrusive or not respectful is not your friend, OP. Excuses be damned. The "friend" is not "quirky", this is not a one time thing - she needs professional help, and you are not it. [/quote]

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