Reply to How do you drop the rope when you have SN kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP - some of these replies have been really thoughtful and thought provoking. The counseling out period was one of the worst of my experiences as a parent- we didn’t have a firm diagnosis yet and it was just shocking and heartbreaking and we didn’t have a good alternative at the time. I was desperate to buy some time to figure out what to do and my kid’s self esteem was in the gutter. We’ve changed so many things since then and now DC is at a school that is a better fit and we aren’t in crisis at the moment. But it is hard to shake off the panic and the feeling that I would do almost anything to not end up in that position again. My husband was a lot more sympathetic during that crisis time to be fair to him- it was really obvious how much that child was struggling and we were actually very aligned on surviving and getting our kid help. Now it feels like he wants to pretend everything’s fine and I’m still terrified. So yes everyone who said I sound anxious is completely right. I’ve tried not to let my anxiety hold my kid back and have really tried to be ok putting them in situations where there’s more of a stretch than I would like for my own anxiety. The food and the clothes seem like so little though, I honestly didn’t think it was problematic even if it’s not 100 percent necessary at this moment. Maybe I need to try a bit harder to reassess some things. I do talk to a therapist and it’s not a great fit but it’s helpful. My NT kid has some medical things going on and I feel myself slipping into the feelings of panic again and I’m sure that’s playing into my feelings that I just can’t handle anything more going wrong and I’d rather do some extra work if it prevents a call from the school.

Anyway sincere thanks to all of you who offered your opinion, even if it was negative. I am going to try to think some of this through and have a conversation with my husband when we are not already upset sometime.[/quote]

I've also BTDT with a child who was counseled out of a school for behavioral reasons and I completely agree with you that it is a horrible experience. I'd spend each evening and morning before school desperately doing whatever I could to prevent my child from acting out at school, only to spend the school day dreading the next email or call from the school.  I would say it was one of the most stressful things I've been through.  It can be hard to find the time, but it might help to get some counseling - either individual counseling, to help in dealing with the stress of previous events and the stress you're currently facing, or couples counseling, to help you and your partner agree upon a set of expectations.[/quote]

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