Reply to Husband Not Spending Birthday with wife and kids, but brother

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[quote=Anonymous]NP here - OP it isn't about his birthday. I agree with the PP who said it was bad planning to expect him to be home for dinner with you and the kids. If I were you, I would have encouraged my DH to spend the night with his brother, and we'd celebrate the next day. (I might have told him that he couldn't expect me to hold off on eating some cake, though.) So water under the bridge - poor planning on both your parts, and poor expectations.

But you clearly aren't in agreement that he should go to all his nephew's games. You probably feel that since your kids aren't old enough, he is spending time with his nephew because he's more 'fun'. And that by the time your kids are old enough to be 'fun', they won't know who Daddy is.

Have you two had a conversation about this? Because if you are telling him it's ok to go, or not outright telling him 'I need you to stay home more or include me and the kids in your plans', then you shouldn't be upset now. Chances are, your communication is not clear. And I'm sorry, but a 4yo is plenty capable of hanging out well into the night and attending those games - mine definitely is. Most of the time, when I feel like DH is trying to 'break free', I make him take a kid. Any activities that don't include any kids require a conversation. (And we trade off, 50/50, on no-kid time.)[/quote]

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