Reply to DD leaving for college soon: can we repair our relationship before she leaves?

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[quote=Anonymous]My parents were awful when I was under their roof - emotionally abusive, strict, parentifying, all of it. The only reason I still maintain a cordial relationship with them today is because they did one huge and important thing right - they encouraged me to go to the best college possible, supported me financially to the extent possible (I still had to take out loans, but they really did provide what they could), and let me be once I got there - it was up to me how much contact and information I gave them about how things were going.

Please let her go and support her in doing so, OP. Whatever her reasons, she wants to pull away, and the kindest thing you can do is to let her and support her. I'm sure it's painful, but you have to accept that this is what she wants, and that she has the right to define how much of a relationship she has with you going forward. Accepting this and supporting her in moving forward is your best chance for continuing to have her in your life. [/quote]

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