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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I notice this too! But less in terms of their appearances and more in their bearing. I have an 8 yo DD and when I was a kid, 11-12 yo girls were giggly and awkward or even rude around adults.

The only word for the 11-12 yo girls I know from the pool and school these past few summers is “poised”! I fully agree with you, OP. [b]I feel bad because I can’t figure out what is pressuring them to have it so together- are expectations that high?[/b] Have we conditioned them to be like this? I appreciate it but it’s also unnerving. They speak to me with a graciousness and back-and-forth ease that many of my adult acquaintances can’t manage.

The boys, on the other hand, don’t seem to be any different than they were in 1992. For all I know, the stuff I hear poolside might have been recorded when I was in middle school and is getting replayed on the speakers. It’s comforting in its own way.[/quote]

This comment struck me. I have one of these girls and it's not because of pressure. She had terrible anxiety as a young child - like, sitting in the corner crying at a friend's birthday party and not being able to join in type anxiety. As she's matured, that's lessened and now she is able to do presentations/speak to a group. Her dad and I were pretty driven kids/teens, so it was a real adjustment as a parent to dial back expectations to getting through the soccer game without shutting down versus scoring the winning goal. We've always taught manners and have a wide range of conversations at home. She's very poised and can converse with anyone.[/quote]

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