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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I can't tell from your post if your daughter is actually stressed out by this. Regardless, all sorts of things could be going on. First, college is a Huge, Looming Thing, just around the corner and impossible not to think about, but also impossible to see, because it's still in the future. Maybe the roommate's brain is whirring around, thinking about college nonstop, but finding little concrete on which to land. Decor is concrete, it's specific. It's a way to think about college even amidst all those amorphous unknowns. (If the roommate is prone to anxiety, this could be even more true.)

Similarly, roomie could be trying to forge a connection. Just as college looms large but is still un-seeable, your daughter will be a Huge Person in Her Life very soon, but is still a stranger now. It's a weird feeling, and any sort of connection, even about decorating, might be reassuring.

(Also, most young people haven't yet fully mastered the art of communicating well in email, so maybe what you find off-putting is simply clumsy/awkward kid communication?)

Try to keep an open mind -- you have only a teeny tiny glimpse (an email!) into who the roommate actually is and what the dynamics will be. I understand that the email didn't land right, but it really might not mean what you are assuming it means. No matter what, this situation is a big opportunity for your daughter. It's a chance to identify what she wants and how she feels, to set boundaries if she needs to set them, and to work and live constructively with someone who is different (maybe very different!) from herself. These are important skills, and much of what college is about.

I wish you and your daughter much luck with this new adventure. [/quote]

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