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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know if OP is trolling or not, but I do actually feel this way. We make less money, though -- 150k (DH 100k, me 50k). I used to make more but the reality of trying to parent kids while you both work was overwhelming. We already had no margin for error because even with an income around 200k, childcare was tight. And then Covid hit. So now I work part time and we pay less for childcare, but have a little more flexibility in our schedule. But yes, money is very tight. We've pretty much given up on the idea that we'll ever own a SFH (we live in a condo now) or feel comfortable financially.

I have a graduate degree and DH is in a STEM field with an Ivy League degree. I grew up UMC and he grew up working class, and while we've far surpassed his economic status as a kid, it's definitely been a step down for me. We've both struggle with our mental health and while there is a version of us that makes WAY more money without working that much harder, I think we just lack the confidence and social skills to make it happen? I feel overwhelmed a lot. I don't know, but I do feel downwardly mobile and can relate to the anxiety OP is galling about.[/quote]

It’s wild to me how much we now require people to “hustle” to have middle class lives in major metros. My grandfather was a teacher. Supported Grandma and sent 3 kids to college.

Owned a modest ranch home in a major metro, worked part time in the summers, good healthcare, nice pension, traveled in his retirement, had enough to pay for very nice assisted living accommodations in his 80s.

Never owned fancy things (or cared) but good quality of life.

Now, his life is elite.[/quote]

How many tvs did they own and how often did they buy a new car, eat out, take vacations that involved airline and hotels, pay for education/tutoring/travel sports, media, etc?  Mine had one tv with an antenna (three channels), radios with a record player, never used outside help, bought two cars and held on to them until they were junk, sent us to public, etc. Pension yes middle class yes but "elite" lifestyle, no way. [/quote]

I'm the PP at the top of this chain and I just wanted to note that we have one TV and it is almost 15 years old. We have one car and just replaced it (old one was 14 years old and the "new" one is a used 2019). We mostly take vacations that don't involve airlines and no one in our family is travel sports or has a tutor for anything.

I say this not to complain, but to say that the assumption that middle class people to day have all that stuff is not accurate, especially in the DMV. In a LCOL area where you can buy a 4 bedroom house for 250k, maybe -- people there will have a lot more disposable income. But they'll usually also make a lot less.

But on top of all that, we don't have a SAHP, a SFH (even a modest one), or a pension on the way. We have just two kids and while I love my kids more than anything, I sometimes wonder if it was irresponsible to have the second because college costs terrify me.

So the PP's grandfather's lifestyle, on a teacher's salary and pension, actually sounds significantly more stable and luxurious than how we live. We have no margin for error at all. Maybe I was naive, but it came as a surprise to me because my parents were able to build modest wealth via pretty regular jobs and some fortunate real estate purchases. It feels like our margins are much slimmer than those of prior generations.[/quote]

I would guess you aren't very knowledgeable about money. Did you get degrees that weren't very marketable? Did you have children at a young age? I agree with a pp. Your parents probably didn't waste money like you do. I've lived in two very expensive neighborhoods and in each we had a few rental houses and thru our kids I got to know the families. Instead of picking a modest home or th to rent, they went to one of the most expensive neighborhoods in the area. They didn't try to save money to afford a home. We have so many people now who think they deserve everything they see on the Real Housewives show just because. I think there are more people who "fake front" and blow money stupidly because they feel they deserve whatever they want right now.

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