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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think a lot more women will have the “ready for (and wanting) sex at six weeks/out with friends for a glass of wine at four weeks/not miserable” experience when we do something drastic about postpartum care in this country.

Normalize night nurses/have postpartum doulas covered by health plans. Have insurance companies required to cover pelvic floor PT. Make maternity leave mandatory. Subsidize childcare.

I know women who didn’t even get a grudging referral for pelvic PT until they’d been incontinent for a full year!! A year peeing my pants I wouldn’t feel like having sex either! Waiting so long also means a woman isn’t on maternity leave and gets to schedule her appointments around all her other commitments.

We do this by having a stingy and unsupportive system and then wonder at the outcomes.[/quote]

+1, although I do think a lot of it has to do with trends like living far from family and having kids at later ages. Both of those factors diminish the likelihood of a helpful grandmother who will step in. My mom helped postpartum and was basically my doula but she was relatively young and was willing/able to travel to us.

Also we need to have a more holistic view of birth methods that incorporates pelvic floor health and impacts on women's intimate lives. No one should be having a vacuum/forceps birth in 2023. C-sections aren't ideal but OBs (and midwives) need to stop pushing vaginal birth at all costs- not everyone is suited to a vaginal delivery and I'd so much rather have a slightly risky surgery than be incontinent or unable to make love with my spouse without pain for the rest of my life.[/quote]

Vacuum mom here. Most of us facing this decision had little choice. Deliveries that need vacuum or forceps often need it right away to get the baby out to prevent oxygen Deprivation. I mean, sure, I could have chosen the C section but when a doctor is telling you the baby’s heart rate is unstable and he has to come out, no mother is going to wait 30 more minutes for a C section to protect her pelvic floor when the doctor is saying we can get him born in 30 seconds if you let me use this. We become casualties to ensure our children arrive safely, and it’s not this easy choice like you are saying. I don’t feel I had one, I did what I had to do and paid a price to keep my son earthside and without brain damage. [/quote]

Yes, totally understand, I just think docs should call it a bit earlier and opt for C-section if labor isn't progressing. Sometimes IMO the default is to make the woman white knuckle it in the pursuit of vaginal delivery. I pushed for over 4 hours and that just shouldn't be a thing

(and pelvic floor wise, I turned out ok but I had extensive PT and my baby was small/early)[/quote]

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