Reply to Was I wrong in telling my girlfriend she has no say when my kids come over?

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[quote=Anonymous]You are definitely not normal. If you want her to move in, you do absolutely need to place reasonable limits on your adult kids! Texting/calling before stopping by, and asking permission before bringing friends, is not too much to ask for. If she moves in, it is HER home too, and she should have the expectation that she could walk around in her underwear and not have a bunch of 20-somethings come sauntering thru the door! What if she invites a friend over for a quiet lunch and a swim and then all of a sudden she is playing host to a pool party? Not okay. I expect my 12yo to give me a heads up if he is bringing friends over, I may need to put a bra on!

See if you can come up with a compromise. Kids can come over whenever they want with a heads up so she isn’t barged in on, but they have to be respectful (not eating her food/making messes etc). They need permission to bring friends. Or express advance permission (ie - “We have no plans this weekend, feel free to bring the gang by whenever, just text us when you’re on the way! But next weekend Sally is hosting bridge club on Saturday, so your friends have to clear out by 3.”

It sounds like you aren’t ready to be in a partnership, and that’s okay! You are still enmeshed with your kids, even though they don’t live with you. [/quote]

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