Reply to Should I contact birth child?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, it doesn't seem like you are interested in her at all.  It seems that you are just feeling guilty that you rejected her when she contacted you.  Why wouldn't you meet her then?  "I wasn't ready" is not a reason.  I honestly have never heard of this coming from a BM!

A absolutely think you need to contact her through a 3rd party - and quickly!  Perhaps write a letter and explain how sorry you are for turning her away when she reached out.  PLEASE be MUCH more sensitive then you are coming across on this thread.  And, for pete's sake, don't mention the Do Not Contact request that she violated!

Here's a situation she very well may have been dealing with her entire life (if her brother is also adopted).  We have some good friends with 2 adopted children.  Both open adoptions.  The boy's BM is still a part of his life.  She comes over, with her family, a couple of times a year.  Their daughter's BM chose not to keep in touch.  She has never seen or heard from her.  When his BM comes around, I see how it affects their DD.  She becomes moody and withdrawn for weeks surrounding these visits.  Anyway, it is quite likely that your daughter has been in a similar situation.  Yes, it was your choice, but now you need to open your eyes and really think about what she has been dealing with.  Just because she is in a well-off family doesn't mean you can disregard her.

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