Reply to SIL asked us to take her kids overnight

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just have your DH say, 'it doesn't work for us' and put it behind you.

I'm 58 and out of F*&ks to give.  I'm so tired of women expecting other women to 'be the bigger person', 'do it for family', 'if you don't do it/want to do it, you clearly hate them'.  I'm tired of being expected to put in extra effort, to, once again, suppress my wants/needs to accommodate someone else's.  I don't blame OP and her DH for being miffed about this request.  It reeks of being used.

Relationships need to be reciprocal and, clearly, this one isn't.  So many of you are reading more into it than is there or hoping for an outcome that is unlikely.  This isn't about building family relationships.  It's about free childcare. If OP and her DH were interested in providing childcare, they'd at least get paid for it.

I get that I'm probably older than most on DCUM and have had more years to experience this, more years to get fed up and be done with it.  It took me a long time to feel strong enough to reject the pressure to 'be nice', to conform.  Life is too short to invest time in the schemes of users.  I suspect the annoyance I hear in OP's posts is a reflection of cognitivie dissonance.  She feels pressure to conform but is resentful because she knows she's being used. 
[/quote]

Martyred much?

It's one night, not a lifetime commitment. [/quote]

You sound like a user and someone who wants other women to conform.  What does it matter if it's one night or a lifetime committment.  OP is being asked to direct her limited resources to people who don't value her, her kid or a relationship.  Just because the user has a genetic relationship with her DH and DC makes no difference.

You may chose to direct your energy to this sort of thing but you need to stop expecting/pushing women to make the same choices you have made.  The overnight doesn't work for OP.  It's too bad she's been conditioned by people like you to feel guilty for not allowing herself to be taken advantage of.[/quote]

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