Reply to People with good parents/nice childhoods who are selfish, unkind, unempathetic?

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[quote=Anonymous]So I married DH, who seems to fit all those "parameters" you outlined.
He had "good" parents, a nice household, and no apparent strife; everything made me think how great his childhood was compared to mine.
I am caring, overly thinking of others I might not even know, and have put others before me; all you describe as a nice person! My parents were in nightmares 60% of the time, and my family life was like a horror movie on many occasions. So, how did I turn out so "nice?"
But wait, DH is awesome, a great partner, dad, worker, and all that great stuff!
As I learned more and more, it turned out his dad was a horrible narcissist, and they all walked on eggshells around him. His own DD, a therapist, said it to me and that he is 100% a narc. 
Also, over 27 years into my marriage, FIL tells me that he told his dad some horrible things, and his dad killed himself the next day.
But, I thought DH had an awesome family, just that his mom was scared not to have all the socks folded and the house spotless before her darling narc DH came home from work.
So, do tell, op, how come DH and I are nice people? And that is not me saying it; everyone says DH is a great person, and I am well-loved by most people. Young adult DD seems to think we are the best parents and says so constantly now; for a while in her teens, she thought I was a monster.
Either we are horrible people who are insane, or your premise holds no value other than as your personal opinion.[/quote]

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