Reply to Anyone else realize how crappy their own mother was once you became a mother yourself?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DP who has experienced both sexual abuse and emotional neglect in family of origin.

Emotional neglect is a form of abuse that is hard to understand or have empathy for if you have never experienced it. It is at least as painful, with at least as enduring negative consequences for the rest of the victim's life, as other forms of abuse. There are parents out there who have never said "I love you" "I care about you" or "You matter to me" to their children. There are parents who don't support their children's interests, dreams, wishes and instead see them as a burden, and eventually little adults or minions to help run the household and other tasks parents do. Children are meant to be used. They are the parents' property to do what they want with.

There are children who grow up feeling unloved, alone, and unwanted by the adults they depend on to survive. They may grow up to be successful adults, academic and career-wise, and occasionally even in their personal lives, despite being raised this way. But it doesn't mean that the trauma of their childhood has been dealt with.

If you have never experienced emotional neglect, acknowledge this and please stop being dismissive and disrespect with your responses. If you're trolling, shame on you for choosing the most emotionally vulnerable people to prey on. [/quote]

+1000

My parents did all of the above and also hit us and screamed at us. But it’s the emotional abuse/neglect that I struggle with most at this point, and that has a million layers I continue to peel back since becoming a parent myself, to discover yet another false belief about myself I need to address in order to parent better.

Emotional abuse is devastating, and it’s so often ignored, justified, or denied altogether. Thank you for articulating why it’s so devastating.[/quote]

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