Reply to Anyone else realize how crappy their own mother was once you became a mother yourself?

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Reply to "Anyone else realize how crappy their own mother was once you became a mother yourself?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Will the perfect parent please stand up? Because if you can’t, your child should definitely hold you accountable. Your day will come.

If you think your parents could have done better, but just hated you (or whatever), then sure, crucify them. But at least consider how they were most likely neglected and abused, as well.

It’s near impossible to break to cycle 100%. [/quote]

I don’t think anyone here is “crucifying” their parents. People are being honest about how their parents’ behavior harmed them. That’s okay.

My parents were abusive and I of course know their abuse was caused by their own abusive childhoods. I can empathize with what they went through while also understanding they are accountable for their own behavior. That’s actually essential for breaking the cycle, because as I hold them accountable, I also hold myself accountable. If I repeat those behaviors with my own children, they might one day understand that I, too, was abused. But that doesn’t mean they will forgive me for abusing them. Realizing that is really important, and it forces me to do the hard work to break the cycle.

Getting mad at people for acknowledging (on an anonymous website no less!) that their parents harmed them, simply because it makes you feel implicated, demonstrates to me that you are struggling a bit with being accountable for your own actions. That’s understandable, but it’s your bear to wrestle with. No one owes you silence about their own lives to make you more comfortable.[/quote]

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