Reply to Wanting to divorce a “recovered” spouse

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Op here- As you say- plenty of women do the “majority” of labor- are they [b]screaming at their families constantly? Hitting their kids? Throwing things at their husbands? Breaking their golf clubs or whatever?[/b] Why would this give him a pass?

He’s always been a rager/angry/abusive regardless of his “stress” level- one job, two jobs, no job, tiny apartment, house, kids, no kids. It doesn’t really matter. I also always excused him for having a “temper” or “stress” or “working hard” or that whatever he was screaming at me about was my fault, or I would fight/yell back in an attempt to feel less weak.

But I hated my life, and [b]I hated being his punching bag[/b], I hated how out of control everything at home was. It left me physically and emotionally drained, and later, checked out and depressed and sleeping poorly. Which only made him angrier and created a sort of death spiral. He was only peaceful to me if I was crying or pregnant. I’ll sacrifice his “contribution” to feel peace.

Unfortunately [b]his behavior was escalating to physical abuse to me and the kids[/b], because that’s what happens when someone like this is left unchecked for years. His behavior was also beginning to have a visible impact on our kids, who were also learning that being disrespectful, screaming and breaking things and hitting and being a jerk is the way to handle your “stress,” particularly the older one.

[b]At our house the kids and I call it the Raging Lunatic when he rages.[/b][/quote]

NP- Did everyone miss what OP said in bold above? 
Screaming at their families constantly? 
Hitting their kids? (???)
Throwing things at their husbands? (in this case wife)
Breaking their golf clubs or whatever?
I hated being his punching bag (figuratively or metaphorically?)
His behavior was escalating to physical abuse to me and the kids (escalating to? Or physically hitting you/kids?)

Op, can you clarify? Did your husband physically hit you and/or kids? How old are they? You said not yet in HS. Your decision to get out now or wait a year hinges on above.
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