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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If OP is 30 and OP’s dad and stepmom have college aged kids, then stepmom has been part of OP’s life at least since OP was a tween, if not longer. This isn’t dad starting a new family once OP was about to leave home. It’s really hurtful that OP grew up with this stepmom and thinks of stepmom as one of her parents, and yet she’s not treated like one of their children. Did you live with your dad and stepmom at all?

OP, I don’t think you need to be confrontational, but either you swallow this hurt silently or you speak up and advocate for yourself. It’s okay to tell them all that you’re not angry, but very hurt to be excluded from plans for the whole family. That it’s painful that they don’t count you as part of their immediate family. This is something that would be beneficial to work through with a therapist.[/quote]

I do consider my stepmom to be my second parent(s/n I have a stepfather and I feel the same about him). My mom had full custody, but I'd see my dad on weekends. [/quote]
Did they always bring you on their vacations before you graduated from college? It seems like maybe they view you as a part time family member. They’ll invite you for celebratory occasions, but it doesn’t feel weird to them to get together without you because they were together without you most of the time.[/quote]

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