Reply to Friend wants to have a baby

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Friend wants to have a baby - 54 years old"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think your friend probably can't have children (but then, there was somebody on the other thread who had twins at 54!), but if she were to have the children, it would be to the benefit of those children. I am a child of older parents (39, 42). They died when I was in my mid-twenties/early thirties. It was tough, but would I rather not to have been born? That's crazy. I am grateful that they gave me birth and miss them dearly. It helps that I have 2 older siblings whom I am very close to.[/quote]

Yes, but there is a 15 year difference between when you were born and when this lady wants to conceive.  If it was hard loosing your parents as a 20-30 something with older siblings, immagine how much more difficult it would be to have both parents pass away from old age when you are a young or mid teen without any siblings.  Imagine having to deal with a parent facing dementia, alzheimers or crippling physical deterioration of your parents by yourself as a teen.  Or having to negotiate home health care or nursing homes for your parents when you are only a teen.

It is a big difference from your parents having a last minute surprise in their late 30s/early 40s.[/quote]

And anyone can die at anytime.  I have a friend who was quite healthy (a retired marine) who had a heart attack and died at the age of 50 with a 12 year old daughter.  I knew two friends in their mid 50's with a teenage daughter who were in a car accident and killed by a drunk driver who crossed the median of a divided highway and hit them head-on.  Does that mean that people in their 30's shouldn't have children?

Millions of people die daily and many of them are too young to die and have children.  But that isn't a reason that people should avoid having children.  We had our children when we were 46 and 51 years old.  Too old by your standards, but we have 3 of 4 grandparents who are still alive at 86, 81 and 80.  And all are healthy.  Both of us have long-lived healthy families with the only family members to die young were the smokers.  The youngest non-smoking relatives died in their 70's.  We reasonably hope to be able to live until our children have children and families of their own.  If you really feel the need to judge and criticize, go ahead, but that only makes you bitter and really is no skin off my nose.

It's amazing the double standard.  People think nothing of men who marry younger women and have children when they're in their 50's.  And women have a longer expected average lifespan than men.  Why are there so many more people so cranky about the women than the men?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics