Reply to Over 50 and Older sister not speaking to me for more than 10 years

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a sister like this. She just always has a grievance with me, our brothers, or our parents. Even when I understand why she is upset, the way she handles it just makes it hard to have a relationship. It is not enough for her for someone to apologize. She wants people to tell her she's right about everything, to do what she says, to defer to her on all matters. It's not about an apology, it's about relinquishing all authority to her.

I think my sister has some valid things to be angry about. We had a not great upbringing with parents who were often very immature and selfish, occasionally physically abusive, often emotionally/verbally abusive. I get it, I was there. But my sister channels this anger against everyone, including her siblings. Like OP, I often feel like my sister is angry I was born and has hated me ever since, and nothing I do or say can change that perspective. It's not possible to "repair" a relationship like that. She wants something from me I can't give if I want to feel okay about myself. And I also grew up in an abusive/neglectful home. I also deserve kindness and empathy and a place in the world. She wants me to create that for her but feels no such obligation to me.

I dropped the rope a while ago. That of course made her angry too. But I am at peace. If she ever finds some peace in her heart with regards to me, I'd be open to that. But I'm not going to keep trying with someone who is unkind to me, disrespects me, constantly demands more of me while giving absolutely nothing in return.[/quote]

OK, but you dropped the rope, not your sister. So that makes your situation totally different from OP's. Plus OP gave many reasons besides "just being born" for her sister to be annoyed with her. Heck, OP talked to BIL about her sister behind her sister's back, OP is on here mocking her sister's jobs, and other stuff. [/quote]

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