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[quote=Anonymous]OP here - I appreciate all of the replies, even those I don't necessarily agree with. It helps give me perspective I might not have thought about.

The biggest issue is that currently DCs can only do activities on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday evenings. That is VERY limiting as kids get older and have stuff going on. Especially bc there are 2 of them and they may not do the same sport forever.

Swimming is only one part of the equation, and the reason this is coming up now. DCs have had to say no to so many things over the last few years bc they are invited to stuff on Tuesday or Dad's weekend. Divorce is hard enough on kids, missing out on social things bc of divorce makes it that much worse. DC12 broke down last night about the schedule again, with summer coming up. He's frustrated, saying "Dad is the one who moved an hour away, why do I have to be punished for it?" He will not however, say this to exDH himself for fear of him getting angry.

DC12 is a talented swimmer and shows a lot of promise. As a few PPs pointed out, he knows he will not reach the next level if he's stuck swimming 2 days a week forever. It is extremely difficult to find a team that allows M,W,Th. All that I have inquired about require either Fridays or Saturdays.

But the bigger issue here is exDH feeling entitled to block his children from things they want to do. I have been and continue to be completely flexible with the custody schedule; it is exDH who has all of these parameters around what nights and weekends do and don't work for him. Sometimes it's work related, others it's travel for personal reasons.

It feels like there is no way to get him to see how much he's hurting DCs. Until they start to rebel or refuse to go with him, I suppose. 
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