Reply to Why isn’t it socially acceptable to say that you regret having kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think I have always had a very strong sense of self - I heard this so many times when I was a kid. It wasn’t a direct “I regret you,” but it was always telling other people in front of my siblings and I that they should never have kids etc. It annoyed and embarrassed me but didn’t phase me. That said, now I’m a parent I only say things that make my children know they are loved and wanted. I never want to be parented like I was - because there was some verbal abuse and today would also be considered physical abuse. I think there is a Reddit sub for people who regret having kids as an anonymous space to discuss their honest feelings, so their children don’t have to know about it.[/quote]

This is a nice sentiment but it misses the point. Think about all the difficulties people have making their marriages work, because of inability to tolerate stress and/or to process their own emotions. It’s silly to think many of these same people are somehow effectively covering up all their emotions regarding regretting their parenting obligation to their kid(s). Kids are incredibly perceptive, they are not fooled by parent who put on a fake smile and pretend enthusiasm. Whether the words are ever said or not, children of regretful parents are certainly aware. [/quote]

I never said kids weren’t aware that their parents may “regret” having them. Where did I say in my post that kids aren’t “fooled” by fake enthusiasm or whatever?

However, I do think having a place (therapist, online forum) for parents who may have negative feelings about their children to vent to can be helpful for some of them who are working through those feelings, and that might benefit their relationship with their children. [/quote]

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