Reply to Why isn’t it socially acceptable to say that you regret having kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's a great thing to share in an anonymous forum like this - but [b]not with people who know your kids, or your family, or anyone you know[/b]. It's taboo because it would be abusive to tell you children this, or have them find you you feel this way. That saying, you should get help in dealing with your depression, or overwhelm, or whatever it is. Saying "I am having trouble coping" is different from wishing outloud that someone never existed. Taking care of kids is really hard. You need support. Get it now - wherever you can. [/quote]

1. Notice that it's not even really acceptable to say in this anonymous forum. Commenters are saying that if you regret having kids you are mentally ill, selfish, a terrible parent, childish, not prioritizing your children's needs, believe your children shouldn't exist, etc.

2. Being allowed to share a feeling like this in an anonymous forum feeds into the taboo and shame, which fuels the narratives I mentioned. If I told my friend "you know, if I could have done it again, I wouldn't have had kids," it's highly unlikely that would get back to your children. You should be able to get in-person support and understanding for these tough emotions.

3. I don't think that saying you regret having kids is the same as saying you are having trouble coping. You can be coping just fine and see that in retrospect it wasn't the right decision. [/quote]

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