Reply to Are you suspicious of people who chose to work with kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just watched a documentary about rampant sexual abuse in the Boy Scouts so this is freshly on my mind but I don’t think I trust people who want to work around kids.

I just guess I can’t understand their reasoning unless it’s nefarious?

The pay in these jobs is always very low and very rarely have good benefits.  I just don’t believe people do it because they “love” other peoples kids.  I love my kid, but not really anyone else’s.  I don’t want them harmed of course but never would I willingly spend any amount of time with someone else’s kids.  Kids are gross and obnoxious.  The only reason I can see people putting up with it would be if they’re their kids or they’re paid incredibly well to put up with it.

And I don’t want to seem like I’m demonizing educators.  I can somewhat understand the draw for teachers.  I’m sure helping young people learn can give some people an internal, moral drive.

But I just can’t shake this suspicion of yeah, obviously volunteer based work like Cub Scout leaders or children’s swim coaches or any job where an adult chooses to spend a lot of time with children often without parents.

My baby is an infant and only is cared for by myself, my DH and my mother but at some point I’ll have to let her be under the care of someone else and it just really scares me.

We toured a daycare when DD was about 4 months old and I just thought… why would anyone work here?  It seemed like hell and the pay was abysmal.  My mind couldn’t shake the idea that these people just wanted access to my kid and it freaked me out.

Call me crazy, but think about it.  What benefits are there?  Why would some 40-year-old choose to spend all day with other peoples kids making $15 an hour when they could have an easier job with adult interaction and make $18 an hour?  I just can’t believe it’s a “goodness of their heart” thing.  People don’t work like that. [/quote]

OP there are people who have goodness in their heart and there are people who have evil in their heart.

Your job as a parent is to protect but also educate. You would benefit greatly from reading about sexual predators FROM sexual predators. They need opportunity, ignorance, and uninvolved/trusting parents. 
Opportunity- time alone and time for trust to develop. ANY consistent efforts to get access to your child especially with secrets or big displays of affection/money/presents/food/etc. 
Ignorance- parents who don't educate their children or talk to them about appropriate touch and/or label body parts appropriately. parents who don't practice what they preach regarding consent. stop means stop. no means no. not advocating for your child when another adult or kid tramples their boundaries and/or continues non consensual activities- even if its all "in fun". 
Uninvolved/too trusting parents- whether its apathy about their children, too many children to keep track of, being overwhelmed by being a single parent, kid is in an abusive home (see opportunity again), etc. they infiltrate and make it seem like a favor to you and how AMAZING your kid is

I also want to tap into what some other posters have said about wanting to work with kids. There is such thing as emotional investment in children that can be exploitative but not predatory from a sexual standpoint. Children are a wonderful gift to humanity and are one of the most vulnerable populations. Their goodness and joy are a much-needed light. Wanting to be around them and encouraging that and cultivating their joy and power is not the same as exploitative or predatory but there is some overlap in behaviors because of the engagement factor.
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