Reply to Parents gave brother every role- so I feel like walking away

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[quote=Anonymous]As an early poster said, this is a huge burden your brother has been handed.  Alternate ways you could choose to perceive this:

- you dodged a bullet. You will not be responsible for the endless nightmare tasks of estate management when they're gone. (I'm the trustee for our parents. They've been dead almost 2 years and I'm still dealing w/ the minutia - it's a total PITA that you will dodge.)
- You can be supportive in whatever ways are most meaningful to you - including all the time and energy you're spending w/ them while they're still here. It's a gift to just spend your time with them, to not have to devote those hours to managing things your brother will have to handle.
- Your parents might have thought that you are already doing so much for them that they wanted to spare you some level of work.
- Your parents might think that you're likely to bear the brunt of the local support (doctor's visits, emergency calls, daily living support etc...) while your brother would dodge that just because of geography. So they're sharing the burden.
- Your parents might feel naturally closer with you in personal matters, so then they give the business stuff to your brother. Again, just spreading things around.
- Your parents might be operating under some stupid patriarchal mindset. Oh well - nothing you can do about that - they're old and from a different generation.
- You will have the incredible luxury of being able to support your brother, while not bearing responsibility. You won't understand just what a gift that is until he's really overwhelmed after their death.

I understand you're hurt, but that is preventing you from seeing the whole thing from other perspectives. There will be SO MUCH they will need you for in coming years, don't worry.[/quote]

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