Reply to Vent- Sibling always ruins mother's day

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Vent- Sibling always ruins mother's day"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]I'm confused. The parents were deeply involved and seemingly invested everything in getting the help the sibling needed. The guidance has changed since then. But they were listening to experts and seemingly doing everything they could[/b]. How could you ever call them bad parents? You must never have had a difficult child. How can people do more than this? What would you have done differently? If you say I would have medicated my child, well no, you probably wouldn't have when people who are supposed to be experts were saying you shouldn't, and parents have a (rightfully) high bar for putting their child on medication.[/quote]

No. Sorry. They’re 40, not 60. Real help was available then. The parents dropped the ball.[/quote]

DP. You're saying that 30 years or so ago, "real help was available"? Sure, IF you lived in a place where any of this was on anyone's radar. Do you not get that 30 years ago, there were still pediatricians, teachers, and most of all parents who were not trained in or very aware of all the childhood conditions to which some here are attributing the sibling's issues? YES, in some areas more was known and diagnosed and done. so don't come back to claim I'm saying ADHD etc. wasn't a thing then. But if you think that every place, every medical practice, every family was anywhere near as informed as they would be today, you're wrong. And no one was hopping easily onto the internet to plug in their kid's behaviors and see what information came up. You are determined to blame parents for "dropping the ball" when they may not have known the ball even existed.

And...it's too late to rewrite the past so what do you have to offer the OP regarding the actual question asked? OP isn't here to ask how to blame their mother and rage about dropping the ball for sibling decades ago. OP wants help dealing with the here and now.

To the OP: I agree with a PP who said the mother's day ads etc. likely trigger your sibling into an annual blame-fest. Help mom block social media and explain to mom that you (and your other sibling? If true?) do not have the same childhood memories that this one sibling has, and when mom sees those posts or hears this from your sibling, it is a lot of conditions talking--not your sibling. Then I'd maybe take mom out of town for mother's day weekend. If not this year, next year. Or otherwise distract her. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics