Reply to I want my kids to date at least once while they’re still at home & in HS

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a girl and boy in late high school who both attend single sex schools.  Neither has dated but I know my son has kissed a girl (or girls) and he regularly goes to parties.  I'm quite sure my daughter has not--she really has spent no time with boys 1:1 and she does't go to parties (is not invited).  [b] her entire friend group is this way--it's a group of about a dozen lovely, sophisticated, fun, smart girls but they have almost zero contact with boys.[/b]

Part of me is bummed that my kid is basically living in a convent throughout high school.  Frankly, it was a LOT of fun to make out with boys in high school.  I didn't even have sex but even just kissing boys was fun.  And the whole "does he like me?,"flirting, watching him across a room, tension thing.  Well, it was a blast.  I miss those days.  (and I was a great student and athlete so none of this distracted from school, etc).

But the downside of "dating" in high school or even spending significant energy on chasing boys is that it leaves less time for developing female friendships.  And those are the friendships that may last long term.  I didn't make a lot of solid close friends in high school because I was so busy "dating" etc.  My daughter has some lovely close friends so if she leaves high school with these and no male experience it's not a bad thing. [/quote]

Are they lovely? Are they fun? Then were are the boys?

My husband and I sat down our daughter as she was going into high school. She was deciding between soccer and lacrosse for her main sport, and we needed to discuss with her what she wanted to accomplish in high school. As we all know, unlike middle school things count in high school. That's not just with academics and athletics, but also your social choices.

Fortunately she was on the same wavelength. We agreed that she shouldn't be overtly mean to anyone, but that she has no obligation whatsoever to associate with anyone who pulls her down. Choosing lacrosse, we agreed that those girls and the soccer girls who she knew growing up should be her main groups. We encouraged her to make friends with older girls who could show her the ropes and help her mature, and we did everything we could to glow up what she was building on the lacrosse field and in the weight room.

It paid off. She's going to a SLAC in the Fall, where her boyfriend is a sophomore in the top frat on campus. So she'll have a foundation when she gets there, but she'll also have her pick of other men if she sees someone better.

We're proud of her. But we know it wouldn't have happened if we hadn't taken a good look with her at her social interactions over middle school, and how she should do better starting high school. For PP, we didn't settle for our daughter having self-professed "lovely" and "fun" girlfriends who didn't engage with boys and the world outside their bubble. She stepped beyond those kids who couldn't keep up with her, and she hasn't regretted it one bit.[/quote]

This ENTIRE post is to creepy I’m hoping it’s a troll. You’re proud of your DD because she’s attending a SLAC with her older boyfriend who is in “the top frat”! I have never heard anything so shallow and I suspect she, and you, is in for a surprise when they break up because he cheated on her. You actually believe you’re setting her up to marry this guy? They are WAY too young and wouldn’t you rather describe her BF as “smart and kind” than crowing about being in the top frat? So bizzare. My kids are both Greek and my DD’s roommate is obsessed with dating the guys in the “best frat”. We talk about how  odd and immature  that is on a nearly daily basis. Dating someone for status never works out in the long run![/quote]

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