Reply to Spouses of big law partners/lawyers

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Spouses of big law partners/lawyers"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP, I think people are being harsh. I think the issue is feeling alone in your marriage and not having the partner you expected in parenting. My husband is a partner and tries to have boundaries and  does his best but sometimes he’s just so absorbed in work even when he’s with us he’s distracted and grumpy. He needs a lot of sleep and I feel like he has less margin than other partners. You can’t hire a spouse or a partner in your parenting. Like a kid has a major issue and you end up dealing alone or 95 percent alone because no one else cares like a parent. It’s not what I would have picked. We have been together since we were teenagers and when we got married I didn’t think it would be like this.

What would mean most to you? I really appreciate my husband making an effort but I always feel like my top job is to maximize his quality time with our kids. They get no say in their parents and having one who is not very present is not ideal. So to me when he’s spending good time with our kids I’m mostly ok. When he’s snapping at us all because he’s stressed I ask him to take a break and just do whatever he needs to do to be calmer. I hate this aspect of our marriage and I’d much much rather he worked less - he is much more pleasant when work is slower which hasn’t been for a while now. Right now you maybe don’t have a ton of options but in 3 years you will have a lot more. Is he planning to do this for good? I think my husband is and there probably isn’t much I can do about it. But if he’s not happy maybe this is a short term thing.

Can you cut back at work (if you are interested in that)? I really didn’t personally want to be a SAHM but am much happier at a slightly lower hour role. Many women in my situation do similarly- you might not even know it. But consider talking to your work if you can keep those important benefits on a lower hour requirement. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics