Reply to DH wants to quit job to join startup

Forum Index » Money and Finances

Reply to "DH wants to quit job to join startup"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Team DH (and I am never Team DH)

This OP rubs me the wrong way. A paltry job making a paltry $20k *and* she can’t bring it upon herself to start cooking? She probably spends more on takeout than she brings in!

As a PP said, they have incredibly low savings for their age and HHI.

Sorry OP. You have more than enough to educate your kids and retire even if he were to stop working tomorrow. You just have to budget. The kids can go in-state or to less elite privates where they earn merit money. You can fly economy to domestic destinations for your vacations. You can get your a** in the kitchen to cook.

JFC.
[/quote]

You can't win on the board. If you're SAH, they tell you you're dumb for relying on your spouse. If you work, but don't make enough money for DCUM standards, they call your salary paltry. But if you're an executive WOHM, they tell you you're selfish and vain.

OP I think it's good you have your own job, even if it doesn't make as much as your DH.

But you should make this about free time and time spent with family - at least until your oldest is launched. Otherwise people start sniping at your "paltry" job. It'd be one thing if this job change would take you from $200k HHI to $500k HHI. But money isn't an issue here. You have tons of savings. TIME is the issue.[/quote]

The problem is that OP is a SAHM with a PT hobby job, three grown kids, and still can’t manage to run a household or budget. And apparently she prefers to make her DH keep his nose to the grindstone at a soulless corporate job rather than learning how to budget.

As to time - they can negotiate conditions like be home by Xpm almost every weeknight, only X hours of weekend work. Though if her DH is a good father, he himself would realize if he is not spending enough time with the kids and make changes accordingly. But come on, these kids are largely independent with the exception of driving to activities, which OP can easily do after her preschool job. Why not let DH pursue a dream and thereby set a good example to the kids?

Like I said before, I rarely rarely side with the DH. But OP sounds lazy and selfish.[/quote]

Why do you think she can't run a household or budget? They've saved $5m. They are budgeting just fine, and the OP says they are already frugal except for planned expenses. She also says their teen is troubled and requires 2 parents to handle. It's not just "someone has to drive Larlo to practice." It's "we need two stable figures in our child's life to be effective." It is clearly better if the father is around and involved vs. 100% mom and dad is still at the office. Teenagers are hard, and her teen is not "largely independent" as you say.

Yeah, if OP's DH can negotiate boundaries and stick to them, this would be fine. But will he? If he says he will, does OP believe it? They need to have a come to jesus talk about it, and draw out clear expectations and needs. I think the suggestion to live on a smaller budget for 6 months is also good. I would say this even if OP's DH wasn't leaving a lucrative, flexible position. Anyone diving into a startup needs to have a serious plan (for boundaries, for failure) and not just pie in the sky.[/quote]

$5m is atrociously low for their age and HHI.

And none of the teens is troubled. One with “mild special needs”… which, is not too bad[/quote]

Special needs that requires 2 parents to handle..that indicates behavioral problems.  Parenting a kid like that is stressful and time consuming.  You do not get a break.  They are likely not independent.

But I agree for their income level, the savings is not there yet.  They need to live more frugally, save and then he could consider the startup.  They need to consider that health insurance will be $30K/year for a family of 5.  They need to learn to cook more at home and adjust their expenses and see if they are willing to live like that.  Much better to do that for 6-9 months and see if they are happy before he quits what seems like a great job, low stress, not ridiculously long hours, etc.  See if you can live on $150K-200K and if you are happy before you start using savings to live.  They are NOT set for retirement and 3 kids in college and their kids are still teens---they have 8-10 years to go before they are "all out of the house and independent" [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics