Reply to Feeling friendless and unlovable. I am always the initiator. I feel sad.

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Reply to "Feeling friendless and unlovable. I am always the initiator. I feel sad."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I often feel similar OP, and I think you have to look at the people who show up for your invites but don’t reciprocate. If they are people who don’t seem to initiate anything, ever, with anyone - then decide if you enjoy their company enough to accept that they need someone to initiate in order to plan things. 
If it’s clear from Facebook, Instagram, and sideline chit chat that they are all initiating and coordinating with other people, but not including you, then ask yourself if you like them enough to be on the B-list. I don’t automatically fade people who put me on their B list - sometimes those people are useful to me as connections or for car pool and I am happy to keep up the pretense of “friendship”.

As for the people who keep me on the B-list because I am just not popular enough, I have found 2 things that seem to help get more invites - 
1. Be interesting. Get a hobby. Make friends other ways. Make a point to keep in touch with old coworkers and college friends - and then post about it or talk about it. Going and doing social things will help you be more interesting because it hones your social skills and gives you things to talk about. but posting a pic of happy hour or mentioning you’ll miss soccer next week for your girls trip is key. It makes you seem like a coveted and limited commodity. The more I publicly hang out with others, the more I see that B-list crowd remember to include me. 
2. Put yourself in the right place at the right time for impromptu invites. Go to the PTA meetings in person, even if there is a virtual option. Volunteer when you can for school events - especially the set-up. Chat at practices and games, don’t sit by yourself and only talk to your spouse. Linger for a few minutes at the end of school events - don’t always be in a hurry to leave. That’s how you get the “hey, we’re going to ice cream after the game and you should join us” invite.[/quote]

This seems tiring.[/quote]
Man, you people get “tired” easily. [/quote]

You seem not to understand: you don't like us and we don't to hang out.  Problem solved.[/quote]

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