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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Early 30s.[b] My spouse has a habit of not following through on stuff. She'll say stuff out of the blue like "oh we should wake up early and go for runs in the AM", "oh we should do X more often", "oh I need to remember to mail this form in", "oh I need to remember to cancel X this week", and then she forgets about it or does nothing to actually see things to the end. [/b]When I ask her nicely about it she gets angry or frustrated.

There were some pretty bad codependency and boundary issues with her parents that we've addressed via marriage counseling that I think have something to do with it, where even in married adulthood she'd fall into the helpless young child role and let strong and smart mom and dad basically do things and make all decisions for her.

Most recently there were some old paper bonds in her name she received as baptism gifts in the 90s. Today they're worth ~$2500. There's a Treasury form you need to print, get notarized, and mail in. Treasury direct deposits the proceeds. That's pretty much it. Her mom handed over the bonds in January 2022. She needs me to drive her to the bank because she doesn't feel comfortable driving in the city. Notary has to be BoA because they're free to their cardholders and she doesn't want to pay a fee for a notary.

In early 2022 I asked if she has downtime can she call BoA and get a notary appointment.  She forgets to call. I ask her a week later. She forgets again and there's an argument because I'm "impatient" and she will handle it. Fast forward a full year, I say "hey maybe we should cash the bonds so we can invest them rather than just $2500 sitting in unusable paper form". She promises to call but forgets again. I ask her again 2 weeks later and same cycle, argument because I'm impatient and she will handle it.

I'd love to just take care of it myself (which is what typically ends up happening), but the bonds are not in my name and I can't call BoA and impersonate her to make a notary appointment. This is just the most recent example. I try to be patient but sometimes it just feels like I'm dealing with a child rather than an equal partner.[/quote]

Doesn’t everyone do this sometimes?  I mean, if I say that I want to start doing yoga videos in casual conversation, how long am I obligated to do daily yoga without being a lazy procrastinator?  A week?  A month?  Is this my life now?  
How often do you say that you are going to do stuff, and then you don’t actually follow through or you kind of let it peter out without making a conscious decision to stop doing it?  Ever tell your mom that you would visit more often or that you would call every week?  Ever say that you might want to take a trip to xyz and not actually make plans to go?  Ever join a gym and pay for the membership for months after you stopped going regularly?  Why is it different when your wife does it?  [/quote]

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