Reply to Millennial men pitched themselves as equal partners. What happened?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because once the men became fathers they found out they’d be fawned over and praised for doing 1/4 the work of their spouse. Why work harder if you get validation for doing so little?[/quote]

This is one of those things that I am always surprised isn’t brought up more. My MIL and my mom too, to a lesser extent think my DH walks on water for taking my child to a medical appointment (which I no doubt sch, after finding the doctor and getting necessary referral etc). Both my kids have chronic medical conditions with therapy at least once a week and typically each of them sees a specialist at least once a month. 50 percent would be very different. But given he has a big career (despite me being very vocal I’d rather he downshift regardless of the salary cut) it’s considered amazing he does anything. Neither of our dads ever took us to appointments or anything so yep he’s doing more than that and he IS a good dad. But my MIL will flat out tell him he should focus on his career and not do anything and even playing with the kids gets a gold star (and I guess I should be doing everything even though I also work). So of course he doesn’t want to hear from me he should be doing “more”. It’s very frustrating. I also have experienced that the less they do, the more they forget about how much there is to do. Like at one point in time my husband was actually doing some cooking and grocery shopping and he was very aware of how difficult it is to fed our kids and was more appreciative than he is now that I’m back to essentially doing 100 percent. It is what it is but it is not what I expected.[/quote]

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