Reply to Wealthy friends spamming their beachfront vacation home rentals on Facebook

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Reply to "Wealthy friends spamming their beachfront vacation home rentals on Facebook - beyond tacky, right?"

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[quote=Anonymous]This thread so perfectly illustrates the fundamental social problem of Facebook.

The PPs talking about the many valid, non-braggy, practical reasons to reach out to friends and family to fill up rentals in a vacation home are right. This was also a thing before Facebook, and it's not a big deal. It's a way of maximizing usage of the vacation property, getting renters you trust and who will treat the home more gently, reducing management fees, etc. It's fine.

But other people are right that getting lots of posts about this in your feed on social media, and watching in real time as your friends who own a second home rent it out to other friends who are happy to spend thousands on a vacation rental would indeed feel kind of crappy if you don't have enough money to do either.

The people saying "you're just jealous" are right -- it is jealousy -- but their judgment of that jealousy is silly. It's normal to be jealous when a bunch of your friends and family are sort of loudly declaring that they have more money than you and get to spend it on things you can't afford. Jealousy is the most normal, human reaction to this. Some people might be better at handling their jealousy than others, using everything from compartmentalization to spirituality or mindfulness to a gratitude practice to simply thinking of all the ways the people they are jealous of are inferior to them. But the jealousy itself is very normal.

And that's what Facebook does. It takes normal behaviors and combines them in ways that encourage conflict. There is nothing inherently wrong with owning a second home or renting it out to friends, just as there's nothing wrong with being proud of your kids, going on vacation and wanting to share photos, wanting to celebrate a promotion or a new house, wanting to complain about how long home renovations are taking, etc. And there's also nothing inherently wrong with not wanting to hear about any of those things in a particular moment because it triggers jealousy or comparison. But Facebook throws this all together and exposes everyone to all of it. That's the part that's not normal. Pre-Facebook, your friend with the vacation home would send an email, and if you weren't interested you could just say "thanks for including us but no thank you!" and they could take you off the email. And then the entire problem would be solved for everyone. But thanks to Facebook, the whole thing happens in this virtual public square where you will see it even if you have no interest (unless you block/unfollow but then you might miss other things that don't annoy you).

The problem is Facebook. It's always the problem! Everyone involved is fine.[/quote]

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