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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Consider this. We are all one accident or one debilitating illness away from long-term care ourselves.

If you have not spent time in a long-term care facility (whether it's assisted living or nursing home) then you may not be aware that there are people in them who are in their 20s, 30s and 40s.  Some are vehicle accident victims who are paralyzed or brain damaged. Some developed an illness which impacted their mobility and ability for self-care.

What would YOU want in a case like this? If you are in your 40s and have an accident tomorrow which leaves you physically incapacitated (but mentally acute) what kind of care would you want as a human being?

That's the crux of the issue. It's not whether or not someone is old, young, nice, mean or oblivious.  We as a country need to examine this issue and determine our way forward. How do we want to treat other human beings in this condition?

But because it is scary and makes people fearful, we simply are not having that conversation. [/quote]

Not OP, but having spend almost a decade on eldercare ups downs, emergencies, tantrums, diasters, etc I would want to be in a facility. I would not do to my children or husband what has been done to me ever. I would want them to enjoy visits with me and not feel burned out.

Most of the people I know who were actively involved in challenging eldercare that went on for a long went to a CCRC because they didn't want to abuse their children that way and it worked out well. The elders who always had excuses to do less and weren't that involved or just lost a parent peacefully in sleep one day, are the ones who don't see the big deal about aging in place.

One of my kids has special needs. I think before we worry about our elders are treated we need to look at how hard it is from birth onward for parents of kids with special needs and we need to offer so many support services. Once we can care properly for our young children with disabilities and illnesses then we can worry about 96 year old elders not getting luxury care.[/quote]

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