Reply to How does a woman know she’s attractive?

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[quote=Anonymous]Most of these responses aren't helping me (not the OP).

I understand intellectually that I am at least a 6.5 and might rate as much as a 9, but 1) it's really just an intellectual understanding, I haven't, emotionally-speaking, internalized anything much more than that I am not-unattractive and 2) between 6.5 and 9, I really do not know where I fall, and I think there's a significant difference.

I mean, I can tell when OTHER women are attractive, subjective and full of societal bias though that assessment may be. But if I've remained within a point or two of the same "number" all my life, how would I really know if I got more attention from men than other women do, and so on?

Sure, I get hit on and/or catcalled with some regularity. I assume this applies to a lot of women. Sure, it may be more or less, but I'm not sure if it's [i]that[/i] much more for a  9 vs a 6.5, and there are too many confounding factors-- attitude, age, vulnerability, weight, clothing, race, class, area, line of work...

Sure, people compliment me on my looks, but most of them aren't blurting out "OMG YOU'RE GORGEOUS!" They say I look great, which could be nothing more than an outfit or makeup/hair compliment, or they might say I'm pretty, but they're my friends, so...?

I don't have my pick of romantic partners and I can't think of what my dating prospects are or were, because I met my husband in HS.

I also don't stare at strangers, so I don't really know if they're looking at me, or looking any more at me than at anyone else.

IDK.

In my case, maybe it's a neurodivergent thing, but I don't get it.

Yes, I could be a 6.5. I could be a 9. In fact, the harder I try to compare myself to others, I probably am closer to a 9. (?)

Maybe I just don't "feel like" a 9, because...? I'm not sure why. I have a few friends that I think are 9s, and they're modest and down-to-earth, and don't "feel like" 9s either, so...?

It just doesn't feel like this is a question one can easily answer about [i]oneself[/i]. [/quote]

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