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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DP here. What did they actually *say* when the guys were golfing and the other women were going to the spa? I can't fathom how uncomfortable that would be to not only be left behind but for them not to see how awful it looks? Like, hey Larla and Larlo, we're heading out for dinner just us, have a nice night? Or did you find out later? And they thought that was OK?[/quote]

We honestly barely saw the other adults the whole trip. The hard part was that we weren’t staying together in a house or anything and our hotel rooms were not right next to one another (hotel has different buildings so we weren’t all together) so they would just kind of disappear. They didn’t say we are going to the spa and you aren’t invited explicitly.

I basically texted them every morning to see what they were up to and they would often reply that the kids are at the pool/beach and to come down to meet up, but the adults were not there and the kids were all with the nanny. So DH and I would sit by the pool to watch our kids and the nanny watched the rest. The moms would pop out from time to time and I would ask what they were up to and most of the time they said they were going to run to their rooms for a bit and come back.

We did all have dinner together the last night but I was pretty much over them all by them and kind of ignored them.[/quote]

Super annoying. They did this to themselves by arranging for you all to stay at the same hotel but then making this arrangement with the nanny and the other family. Like it should have been obvious at that point that it was going to be really awkward because the only reason you guys booked this specific hotel was to be near this family, but if you aren't in on the childcare, you're not going to be able to hang out with them. This was stupid on their part and should have been easy to foresee.

BUT I actually think the real issues is that once it was actually happening, they didn't own up to their mistake or do anything to try and make it better. Like even if they are kind of obtuse and didn't realize this deal with the nanny was going to totally change the nature of the trip for you guys, it was obvious once you were there. At that point, the mature thing to do is acknowledge your mistake ("I didn't realize this thing with the nanny was going to make it hard for us all to hang out -- I'm so sorry") and maybe make some effort to rectify it (maybe look into sitters through the hotel and see if you could go in on a sitter once or twice with the other family so that at least the four of you could go out to dinner or some other activity). Even by just acknowledging the problem and your role in creating it, you'd go a long way towards rebuilding some good will.

But the fact that they idiotically set this situation up and then did absolutely nothing to apologize or fix it? Nope, done. I'd still do carpool/playdates because that's for the kids, but I would never socialize with them as a family again. Rude AF.[/quote]

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